Worst Invention Ever....EVER!

For those of you that don't know (and I'm sure you all do), I'm in Taiwan teaching English to kids aged preschool up to 5th grade. Periodically, I have to teach the little kids -- the two year-old preschoolers -- art class. As far as I'm concerned, their skill level in art is "here's a crayon, now color." They can't color inside the lines to save their life, but it gives them the semblance of trying to do art.

Then there's the cutting. And here's where the worst invention part comes in...child-proof scissors. UUUuugh!!! I hate -- nay, loathe them. They don't cut. Here, let's teach kids how to cut things with something that DOESN'T EVEN CUT!!! It's so frustrating!

I'd rather have little kids learn with real scissors and loose the tip of a finger. That way they'll have accomplished cutting AND learned a lesson about something.

Real quick!

The coolest thing ever...well, maybe not the coolest, but it's great nonetheless...

They have watermelon here in Taiwan. But not watermelon like we have in the states. It's gold. Like bright yellow instead red. I'm going to venture out on a limb and say that this "gold" watermelon tastes better than red watermelon by virtue of it being "gold"!!!

So good!

Ghost Month

Hello dear readers...What an interesting time this is. This month is Ghost Month. Specifically, the seventh month of the lunar calendar. The Chinese believe very strongly in spirits and ghosts. So much so that their beliefs and fears keep them from going in certain bodies of water for fear of being taken away by evil spirits.

During this month on the 13th day, there's a Ghost Day where the people believe that the gates of Hell open and their dead ancestors are allowed to visit this world for a brief time. To quell any evil spirits and maintain a generally happy ghost population a lot of sacrificing is done in the form of food and burning money. Not real money. They have paper that is supposed to represent money that gets burned in these special cans during the day out front of homes and shops. As far as offerings go, the Taiwanese place sometimes huge tables of food on the street for the Ghosts to just take. It's a very serious tradition.

In my first week here I noticed a table of this nature laden with food on the sidewalk as I was walking to work. I had no idea it was an offering to deceased relatives. I thought that this country was just so nice for leaving free food out for anyone that would want it.... No, I didn't take any, but I was sure tempted.

Open Door Policy

There aren't a lot of huge cultural differences that have really struck me while I've been here so far. It's more the small nuances that make me look up and say, "Huh, that's different." And then it sits with me for the rest of the day bringing about a chuckle as it pops into my head.

The one that has struck me today was the bathroom situation -- both public and private. At the school where I teach each floor has a bathroom. Each bathroom is unisex and has three stalls. The stall at the end is for the Teachers only while the other two stalls are for whoever may need to use them be it boy or girl at anytime. I've heard of unisex bathrooms in the workplace -- albeit was on the show Ally McBeal, but I'm sure they exist in some Fortune 500 companies out there, right? Be that as it may, there's something just a bit awkward for me when I'm having a "movement" and in the stall next to me is a preschooler named Vivian! Maybe it's just me.

Beyond the whole unisex thing at work is the general "open door policy" at most male /female specific bathrooms -- public or private. And it's exactly what you think it is. They leave the doors opens! I saw this in action when the school took kids on a field trip and while we were on a break one of the boys used the single-person bathroom. He left the door wide open and proceeds to do his business..."Matt! Close the door!"

Then there are the Metro bathrooms. Very clean. Maybe the cleanest public bathrooms I've ever seen. Maybe that's because of the old woman that is stationed in there to clean all day long! No one even notices her. I almost thought she was someone's grandma that went in the wrong door for a second.

"Huh, that's interesting."

Dog Culture

This is rather frustrating and upsetting... I refer to the dog culture here in Taiwan. Dogs are seen as family guardians. Protectors of the home. Watchers of children. Something to be discarded freely when the family feels like it no longer wants it. Done many of the side streets in Taipei you'll find at least a couple of dogs -- mixes usually -- just hanging around or wandering from one lingering smell to another. It's so sad to see. These alley dogs are terribly skinny, dehydrated, and sick to some extent or another.

Families just discard them at a whim -- probably when the dog gets too big for the already cramped urban living space that is most of Taipei. It makes sense that everywhere you look there are stray dogs, because there's no curb on breeding. Taiwan hasn't picked up on the whole -- spay and neuter your pets idea. It really breaks my heart and angers me to see these animals treated this way.

Not all dogs are treated this way. Some have wonderful loving families are treated very nicely. But I must say that seems a minority thought around here.

Very sad...

Bali, part the Third

"You have died of dysentery." For those of my generation or there abouts, that marvelous quote is from the old school computer game Oregon Trail. I loved that game! It, the dysentery part, has particular significance in this final adventure in Bali...

Actually, it's in Lombok, another Indonesian island about a twenty minute flight from Bali. It is here that Chad and I would get SCUBA certified. Where better than in the crystal clear waters of Bali and the surrounding islands, right??? Well, as we were contemplating where to get certified over dinner a new proposition came up: What about trekking up the volcano on Lombok? Yeah, that would be cool! Let's do it!

After dinner we set out to compare prices for the this trekking adventure. It would be a two day, one night hike from the base up to the crater rim. Sure, sounds awesome! Except that a few hours after dinner earlier my stomach was screaming in disagreement with me. I figured it was nothing, just ate something that a few hours on the toilet will fix in no time. We set up to meet the guide early the next morning for our trek up the volcano -- 7km up the volcano known as Gunung Rinjani.

The morning came, and I was feeling okay. As okay as one could be after sitting on the toilet all night. But nonetheless, I was ready to rock. Our guide met us and we drove out to the base of Gunung Rinjani (about 1hr 45 min drive). There we met up with our porters and trail guide. Also, nice of them, they served us breakfast: Pineapple and banana pancake (more like a crepe and swimming in butter). As I ate there was a distant voice in the core of my body that said, "No, Chris, for all that is good, don't eat it!!!" I promptly ignored said voice.

The trail was incredibly steep, covered in root systems. There were four rest posts along the trail set about 2-3 hours of hiking apart. About 2 hours in to the hike, something was wrong. My inside were SCREAMING at me. I needed to find a bathroom fast! Funny, there weren't any on this side of Rinjani (or any other side for that matter). I've never had to squat in the woods before...now, I'm a seasoned veteran. There was no relief from whatever "demon hell ride" was going on in my stomach and bowels. All I knew is that I was sweating (a lot) and loosing a lot of water by "other means" as well. Dehydration was a certainty. For as quickly I drank water, it came out of me just as fast.

By four hours into the hike I was begging the guide to let me turn around and go back. I felt so silly having been reduced to such "weak sauce". Trust me, though, this was bad. Very, very bad. Still I pushed on -- crawling at moments -- UP the hill. We rested for the night and set out in the early pre-dawn morning. Things weren't much better. Still, we pushed on and made it to the crater rim of Gunung Rinjani...it was worth the trials and taxation just for the view and the sense of accomplishment.

To hike a volcano in two days is pretty hard. Doing it with dysentery-like symptoms, even harder. Yes, I'm bragging just a bit.


Our porters and guide. These guys are ripped! They do this hike three times a week.


From the top...


Us at the crater rim...

Bali, part the Second

Ubud...I need to thank my friend Meredith for recommending this city to me and my traveling companions. I don't know if we would've considered it with out. Maybe we would have. Still, she gave it a big thumbs up and so do I.

Ubud is set inland about 45 mins or so and is the Bali's culture and art center for the island. For me, this was my favorite part of the trip. We found a nice little home-stay set off the main road down an alley. The caretaker was very nice and eager to set us up with anything we needed -- for additional price of course. Our first day they we walked down the street passing all sorts of artisan shops hawking local tradecraft and wares -- things like Balinese masks, jewelry, drums, etc. At the end of the street was what we were looking for...the Sacred Monkey Forest.

It was awesome. It's an Indonesian Temple set in among the forest/jungle and totally overrun by monkeys! Think the Jungle Book. The locals sell bags of little bananas to give to the monkeys that will crawl into your lap and take them...and take other things like watches and bracelets, or the rest of the bananas if you're not careful!

The next day, we had signed up for a traditional Balinese/Indonesian cooking class. It was hands-down the best food of the entire trip!
We were given a recipe book of think five dishes (including desert) and were taught how to prepare and cook them. We cooked for about four hours until 1 pm. Then we all sat down to lunch and was served this amazing spread of all the food we had just cooked. Delicious!

Later that day, we rented scooters to explore the surrounding country side. Sadly, our high from lunch was thwarted a bit when one of our party hit a parked car with her scooter. I'm not going to name names...

Bali, part the First

We arrived in Bali, Indonesia. Fun Fact: the word "Bali" in Chinese means "Paris". Everyone we told where we were going for vacation gave us these crazy looks until we explained it was Indonesia, not France. Where was I...?

Ah, right. We arrived in Bali just before dinner. The flight was uneventful and not worth mentioning. We gathered our bags, got through customs (yay, for another Visa in my Passport!) and headed outside. We were immediately greeted with an onslaught of men yelling "Transport?", "Where you go? I take you!" The thing about Bali is this: Everyone on the street is willing to drive you anywhere you want to go or sell you anything they might have -- or knows of someone willing to sell you anything -- provided you pay "foreign prices". Obviously, foreign prices are a lot higher than costs for natives. White = Rich in their minds. Ergo, there was a lot of bargaining and haggling that ensued, because, while I'm white, I am certainly not rich.

Another thing in Bali: You can haggle over (almost) anything. Everything from taxi rates, to rooms, to the cost of dinner. Silly and eventually very frustrating, but that's how it goes in Bali.

The taxi driver took us to a quaint little inn slightly removed off the main strip in Kuta -- the Tourist Capital of Bali. It was incredibly westernized with Starbucks, Dunkin' Donuts, they even had an A&W Burger place...those are hard to find in the states!

After getting our room, we set off down the main strip and encountered some locals that were willing to take us anywhere. We told them we were hungry and they walked with us to show where to get some tasty Balinese food. Post-eating, we made our way out to the beach and relaxed for a bit. The waves were awesome. I wish I was able to spend a day surfing here, but sadly our time was too short.

We did some brief local shopping and called it a day. The next morning after breakfast we made our way to Ubud...